Pixel the wonder cat
is back at the hospital today. She's started to get more lethargic again, and at her follow-up appointment this morning, her red blood cell count was tanking once more (back down to 12; she needs to be between 30-45 to be "healthy" and "normal"). The tests that we were waiting on came back negative, so she doesn't have bone cancer or an infection. The doctors don't know what is causing her to lose the red cells. She is either losing them somewhere, or something is attacking them. They are going to do another transfusion today and keep her overnight, but it's not something that we can keep doing over and over again as it's both medically and financially unfeasible.
Pixel will be four years old at the end of the month, if she makes it that far. Coupled with the sudden, violent loss of her sister, Nala, in December of 2000, I can only conclude that either there is no God, or that He is a dirty, sadistic son-of-a-bitch. Nobody should have to suffer like this, least of all a fuzzy little wonder who has done the world no harm.
I want to just curl up and cry until the end of my days, but I have too many 9-to-5 obligations, and I know the futility of tears in the face of the inevitable march of tragedy.
- Mood: my heart is breaking even as w
- Music: Nine Inch Nails - "Terrible Lie"